Emotional Journey of Surrogacy: What Parents Need to Prepare For

Surrogacy is an emotional journey for both the intended parents and the surrogate. Hope, joy, confusion, uncertainty, and patience are only some of the emotions that intended parents experience on their path to parenthood. These emotions are natural and valid. Acknowledging and addressing them is a key part of navigating the surrogacy journey in Mumbai.

The emotional journey of surrogacy can be likened to a ship sailing through rough waters, knowing that happiness awaits at the end of a turbulent time. While surrogacy opens doors to parenthood for those who may not have other options, it also brings unique emotional challenges that require preparation, patience, and understanding.

What is Surrogacy? Who is Eligible For Surrogacy in India?

Before diving into the emotional journey, it’s important to understand how surrogacy works in India. Surrogacy refers to the process or arrangement in which a woman (called the surrogate) agrees to carry a pregnancy for intended parents who, in most cases, are unable to conceive. In India, only gestational altruistic surrogacy is allowed.

Gestational Surrogacy: Only the gametes of the intended parents and donors are used; the baby is not genetically related to the surrogate in any way.

Altruistic Surrogacy: In altruistic surrogacy, women who become surrogates do not receive any compensation, financial or otherwise, for carrying a couple’s child.

Surrogacy in India follows other rules in accordance with the Surrogacy (Regulation) Act, 2021. Only heterosexual married couples who have been facing infertility for five years and meet medical criteria are eligible. They must have a medical condition that makes them unable to have children. Furthermore, the husband must be between 26 and 55 years old, while the wife must be between 23 and 50 years of age. Except in certain circumstances (such as when the child is disabled), they are not allowed to have any living children of their own.

Same-sex couples, foreign nationals, couples who have not been married for at least five years, and couples already having a living child (biological or adopted) are not allowed to seek surrogacy in India.

How Long Does the Surrogacy Process Take?

The surrogacy process takes approximately 12 to 18 months. The time taken involves the 9-month gestational period, legal clearances, IVF treatment, and other medical processes. Sometimes, surrogacy timelines can get extended due to delays in documentation or additional IVF protocols.

Our clinic assists you with legal paperwork, medical treatments, and counseling services. As intended parents, you should carefully decide how much time and money you are able to spend, along with planning the baby’s childcare, vaccinations, and so on to make your surrogacy emotional journey worry-free.

How to Prepare to Become Intended Parents

Intended parents are the couple who choose surrogacy as their path to parenthood. Their hope, love, and resilience fuel their journey. Intended parents are eager to have a child who they can love and cherish. They work with the surrogate, a surrogacy clinic, and IVF specialists to make their dreams of parenthood a reality.

Preparing for parenthood can be tough, even when surrogacy isn’t involved. The process is emotionally and physically demanding. Intended parents may also struggle with perceiving their child as ‘theirs,’ as it was raised by a third person. Even though the child will be genetically related to you, it’s natural to feel some apprehension and emotional stress during your journey.

All  should be taken care of prior to starting the surrogacy process. This will allow you to have peace of mind during the process and focus on other aspects like taking care of the surrogate’s health. To deal with the emotional journey of surrogacy and navigate it effectively, we recommend approaching a surrogacy clinic that offers counselling services to intended parents and surrogates.

A person’s diet affects their health and, therefore, their fertility. For women, your diet has a direct impact on ovulation. Consuming trans fat instead of monounsaturated fats or carbohydrates can increase the risk of ovulatory infertility. Taking multivitamins and supplements can reduce this risk.

An unbalanced diet and insufficient nutrition can increase infertility. Men who consume a balanced diet show improved semen quality. Both men and women should have a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, healthy fats, lean protein, etc., to support their reproductive health.

The Emotional Toll of Surrogacy

The surrogacy emotional journey brings with it a unique set of challenges. Emotional support and counselling are a must, both for the intended parents and surrogate mother. Surrogates may develop anxiety and feel guilty if the pregnancy doesn’t progress as expected. They may also develop attachment issues or worry about handing over the baby. Such feelings can be managed effectively through regular counselling sessions.

On the other hand, intended parents experience a lack of control over the pregnancy. They may find it difficult to trust the surrogate throughout the process and become anxious and obsessive about the surrogate’s health, diet, lifestyle, and living conditions. Feelings of anger, sadness, jealousy, and guilt are quite common.

Your surrogacy clinic has performed this service many times before: they will guide you at every step of the process. A trusted surrogacy centre like Corion Fertility Clinic can take care of the legal and medical processes for you so that you can focus on your parenthood journey.

How To Navigate The Emotional Highs and Lows of Surrogacy

Build a Strong Support Network

Surround yourself with people who care about you. Friends, family, and even coworkers can give you the understanding and support you need during this journey. Lean on them when things get difficult.

Confiding in close friends and family can make the surrogacy process feel much easier. Reaching out and talking to other intended parents who have gone through or will go through the surrogacy process can also make the process easier to deal with.

Build a Relationship With the Surrogate

Your relationship with the surrogate must be based on trust, understanding, and respect. Both intended parents and the surrogate must be able to communicate openly with each other. Intended parents must be involved in the process without being overbearing. They must respect the surrogate’s differences and have clear conversations to prevent miscommunications.

Stay Actively Involved

Even though the surrogate is carrying your child, it isn’t her journey to parenthood; it’s yours. You can and should be actively involved in the pregnancy of your own child. This involves regularly checking in with your surrogate, attending each checkup and doctor’s appointment with her, and helping her with tasks she may have difficulty with. In this manner, you can develop a close relationship with your child even before they are born.

Conflict Resolution

Your relationship with the surrogate should be based on mutual respect and healthy communication. Here’s where counseling sessions can help: they can help the surrogate and intended parents understand each other’s feelings and motivations and prevent unnecessary conflict. Any friction or conflict must be addressed at once instead of allowing negativity to fester.

Navigating Loss

Sometimes your first surrogacy attempt may be unsuccessful. In such cases, you may feel emotionally distraught. A loss can be difficult to prepare for and even harder to deal with in the moment. It’s important to remember that this isn’t the end of the road. Lean on your support system for a while, and seek the help of friends and family during this difficult process.

Don’t lose hope yet. Your doctors may be able to identify what went wrong and resolve the issues in the next surrogacy attempt.

Take Responsibility For Your Emotions

Just as you may struggle with your emotions during the surrogacy journey, your surrogate may too. Remember that your struggles may be different but that doesn’t mean one is not as important as the other. The surrogate is already using her time and energy to help your baby grow and remain healthy. She should not be made to carry the weight of your emotions as well.

Pre-Birth Preparations

Don’t let stress get the better of you. As the delivery date draws nearer, make an effort to plan out the birth ahead of time. Will the surrogate deliver at home or in a hospital? Who will be able to take care of her during labor? Plan out travel arrangements if any, and determine who will be present at the birth itself. Discuss everything with your surrogate ahead of time.

Preparing For Parenthood

The transition from intended parents to actual parents can be overwhelming. Even though you’ve spent so much time waiting, you may feel like the sudden shift feels too abrupt. After the baby’s birth, both you and the surrogate may need some time to adjust to your new reality.

Conclusion

Surrogacy can be challenging at first, but the process can also be deeply rewarding and beautiful. While surrogacy comes with emotional highs and lows, it is ultimately a journey of love, resilience, and hope. By preparing emotionally, building strong support systems, and fostering open communication with your surrogate, you can navigate the emotional highs and lows of surrogacy with ease.

Are you struggling with the emotional challenges of surrogacy? Talk to our counselor at Corion Fertility Clinic and get started on your fertility journey.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. Is surrogacy legal in India?
A. Yes, surrogacy is legal in India but is subject to strict rules and regulations.

Q. Is commercial surrogacy legal in India?
A. No, commercial surrogacy is illegal in India according to the Surrogacy (Regulation) Act, 2021. Only altruistic surrogacy is legal, which means the surrogate mother does not receive any financial compensation for her services.

Q. Will my baby be related to the surrogate?
A. No, only the egg and sperm of the couple can be used for surrogacy. Even if the couple needs to use donor eggs, the surrogate is not permitted to be the egg donor or use her eggs for a surrogate pregnancy.

Q. Can the surrogate mother change her mind and keep the baby?
A. No, it is illegal for a surrogate mother to keep the baby, even if she changes her mind. Before the surrogacy process begins, she signs a contract that states that the intended parents have parental rights and that she has no claim over the baby.

Q. Will the baby look like the surrogate?
A. No. The baby’s genetic traits come from the intended parents or egg/sperm donors and not the surrogate.